All week people have been asking me how my trip to Bangladesh has affected me, but in all honesty I've been too caught up in the whirl of family, media and work to come to any conclusions. I'm not sure that it's going to be as simple as saying I've learnt a, b & c because deep down I feel the change is more of a spiritual one.
I feel different inside.
I'm angry about the injustice of it all.
I'm ecstatic to be born here in the modern world.
I'm shocked that millions of people are still living in such primitive conditions.
I'm thankful for western medicine.
I'm outraged by my own frivolous existence.
I'm grateful that Save the Children gave me this opportunity - but do you know what?
It isn't about me.
The trip wasn't about me. Blogladesh was about connecting with children like Yasmine and Sanjita and Shanto. It was about seeing their lives through my maternal eyes. Feeling their mother's pain, concern, anger and helplessness and then sharing those feelings with people back home who have the power to make life saving changes.
It's very easy to think that the actions of a single person won't make a difference - but they can and they do. It take less than 5 mins to sign the Press for Change petition.
This made me cry. You're right, it's not about individuals but what you're neglecting here is that you made a choice. You chose to leave your family and travel to a developing country knowing it would be hard-hitting, shocking and life-changing.... not everyone would have made the same decision. So it IS about you.
ReplyDeleteYou, Josie and Eva (yes with the help of Save the Children) have created an awareness campaign akin to that of the heart wrenching campaigns shot by celebrities for Children in Need and the like. You ought to be damn proud of this, no matter how 'small' you believe your part was.
x
I'm so glad you wrote this post. It shows that in-spite of the media merry go round and the fact that you are home, has not made you lose focus of what is important and what needs to be done. I agree it is not about you and yet it is up to you to try and persuade people to give 5 minutes of their busy lives to play a part in saving lives of others. This impossible world we exist in fills me with frustration, anger and sadness and yet though all of this I am proud that you are my wife.
ReplyDeleteSian, when you guys left I sent a tweet saying that you would all come back different people. It's just how it happens. I've done similar, smaller scale trips in my life, in to African areas and orphanages, and my brother goes to India regularly, whenever he can have time of work, to work with the children.
ReplyDeleteYou just have to give it time, and then do what you can to make small changes on an ongoing basis.
The way you feel now gets better, but you are in the fortunate position that you can keep being involved.
*hugs*
Oh, and Yan's comment made me cry.
ReplyDeleteI think Luschka's comment is very true. Two years ago we visited Swaziland as part of documentary I co-produced & Jonny shot and it still affects me. We went through stages of being angry then being motivated then feeling helpless then feeling grateful then getting caught up in daily life, etc, etc.
ReplyDeleteIts very hard to want to (need to) force change but feel so small at the same time. Someone told me that awareness and understanding is the greatest first step to change and just think how many of us wouldn't have images or emotions connected to this if it weren't for you and Blogladesh!
xoxoxo
You're all amazing for going out there. I can imagine that it must be so difficult to put into words the change in your soul.
ReplyDeleteWe're all really proud of you, Josie and Eva for what you've achieved so far, well done!
ReplyDeleteIt isn't about you; but you three have raised an incredible amount of awareness and done something truly remarkable.
xx
I knew you would feel exactly like that. So pleased you can put all those emotions to such good use. Proud of you sis, and Yan's comment is absolutely lovely.
ReplyDelete