Speak up... break the silence

May 5th is a difficult day for me... you see today is the anniversary of the first day of the rest of my life.

Sixteen years ago today (5/5/94), I was engulfed by a very dark cloud that took me to hell, tossed me around and then spat me out.

Many memories of events past are hazy. A result of the archaic mental health 'treatment' forced upon me in the following years but I can recall every single moment of that day like it was yesterday.

I stood at the top of the car park for at least an hour. I was teetering on the edge - over the edge.

It was grim, grey and from my roof top view the whole city looked like it wanted to die. I was terrified of what lay before me. Exhausted by the events that led me there. Helpless, hopeless, defeated.

So I jumped.

Every year I get reflective and every year I feel a little differently about how my life came to that. I'm filled with dread at the thought of the anniversary that tips my time scales, when I will have lived longer with pain and disability than without.

Did you know that last week was Mental Health Week? There is help available. Don't suffer in silence like I did.

If depression affects you stop by Breaking the silence. It is a brilliant blog, full of information and support.
Here's a link to my original post about my battle with post natal depression. Thank you for the comment love - it makes a difference to me to know that I have friends.